A Toddler’s Version of the Republican Primary

Over the last several weeks Ainslie has developed quite an entourage.  We can’t go anywhere without Elmo, Baby, Rabbit, and Mouse.

It occurred to me that this posse has much in common with the remaining candidates for the Republican nomination.  Elmo has been the favorite for a long time, but doesn’t seem to be able to capture Ainslie’s full attention and devotion.  The three others experience volatile swings in populatiry that are difficult to predict or comprehend. 

Elmo = Romney:  He’s got the pedigree…a made-for-television toy.  He hails from the Sesame St establishment, has great hair, and has made a ton of money over the years.  Elmo is a elite toy for sure.

Baby = Gingrich:  Baby was prolific back in his hey day as the primary toddler-hood partner of Cousin Declan.  Together they did great things, until he was unceremoniously cast aside.  He has somehow ressurected his toyical life seems willing to do anything to remain in Ainslie’s favor, including enduring a full cycle through the laundry.

Rabbit = Santorum: A family-first toy who is fervently pro-life without exception.

Mouse = Paul:  Mouse is misunderstood.  He is, in fact, a sheep.  It takes a keen observer, one who can slice through the propaganda on all sides, to decipher who Mouse really is.